


Song of the Hero

by Sthrissa



Category: Discworld - Pratchett
Genre: Dragons, Gen, Heroes, Poetry, Princesses, Wizards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-19
Updated: 2011-03-19
Packaged: 2017-10-17 02:46:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/172087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sthrissa/pseuds/Sthrissa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the depths of the guild, a fabled sword lies in our trophy case, its tales forgotten, its legend denied...</p><p>Sung by the ghost of AnALT for the "Tall Tales Writing Competition" held by the Thieves' Guild on the Discworld MUD. Come and let him regale you with the tales of this mystic sword...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Song of the Hero

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:  
> In the depths of the guild, a fabled sword lies in our trophy case, its tales forgotten, its legend denied...  
> "This great sword looks like a fine prize and could prove very useful in battle if you're tough enough to wield it. It is made of an octiron and is very durable. Its handle is made of platinum and has a stylised engraving of a dragon."  
> The Thieves Guild proudly announces the Tall Tale writing competition. As of now, we officially don't care what the story behind the sword in the trophy cabinet is. Its bound to be a lot more boring than what you lot can come up with, so here be the rules:  
> Those of you who wish to write the new history of the sword compose a Tall Tale about its origins, keeping in mind the conventions of a tall tale, where embellishments and never before seen feats are accomplished as a matter of due course. Once you feel secure in the notion that your tale is indeed the most flamboyant, extrovert and rousing tale, you mail it to me, on an address specified below.

Gather ye 'round and be regaled  
With tales of courage against dreaded foe,  
With valiant feats of mettle and might,  
Of shattered hearts and bitter night...

  
Once there was a maiden, beloved,  
In long ago and far away,  
To all who beheld her, in the kingdom  
Over which her father held sway.

Her radiance shone across the Disc,  
For held she the greatest treasure -  
Golden crown and father's kingdom; and thus  
Hearts of men, who sought her pleasure.

Years she lived in a land at peace,  
Where joy and wealth was all that grew,  
(Or all, at least, that was spoken within  
Hearing of the governing few).

But came, in this time of plenty,  
A day when the peace was broken.  
A sourcerer was her favour denied,  
His staff refused - his heart's token.

  
Thus the wizard in righteous wrath  
Stole the lady from father's grasp  
Sent the kingdom down sorrow's path  
And in a dragon's hold enclasped.

And in despair the kingdom cried  
Out for a champion to ally  
And offered maiden as a bride  
(After she's torn from wizard's side).

And heroes from the Disc came forth  
All to fall to the dragon's force  
All save one of meagre resource  
Who thus fulfilled narrative's laws.

Archetype strode into dragon's lair  
And after battle epic and fair  
Plunged mystic sword with a showman's flair  
And triumphed over the monster there.

  
When from the sky the dragon fell,  
Its form shrank and began to change,  
'Til in the dirt there did lie, not a beast  
But the stolen maiden, in exchange.

Cheering joy the conqueror met,  
When he returned with maiden pale.  
And none did speak, as they wed, of the sword  
Upon which the lady lay impaled.

Golden crown upon hero's head,  
Peace again was the kingdom's right,  
And having all the land to warm his bed,  
He lay with her but a single night.

And father of the maiden fair,  
Welcomed his son with pleasant smiles,  
Then alone he stood before daughter's grave,  
And wept. Only for a little while.

  
In long ago and far away  
These heroes lived and bled,  
As ages fly and magic died,  
This sword alone was left.  
In Guild of Thieves it now resides,  
An octiron-bladed prize,  
Authentic runes, magic-tipped,  
On platinum hilt, in flowing script:

'Made in Agatea'.


End file.
